I should have known what I was getting into when the previews before the film were for two movies so strange and trippy that they make Across the Universe seem downright linear. This is also, incidentally, the first film to which I’ve seen Roger Ebert give half-a-star.

I did not go in with high hopes.

Part of me wanted to like it, of course. I thought Guy Ritchie’s other gangster flicks were pretty good; Snatch is right up there on my list of favorite movies. But the only resemblance this film bears to the others is the same actor. And while in Snatch, Jason Statham’s narration was snappy and helpful, here it sounds as though it’s attempting to be meaningful but is only coming across as self-important and muddled.

In fact, this whole mess movie is both self-important and muddled, miles away from being clever, and certainly not as innovative as it puffs itself up to be. Confusing? Very. Interesting? Not really. Certainly not engaging enough to last over an hour and a half (worse yet, it feels much longer) The byline on the DVD cover says Your mind will not accept a game this big. Take that to heart – don’t even try.