As a movie aficionado, the Academy Awards are like my Super Bowl (and Cannes is, of course, the World Cup) This year’s show was pretty low-key overall. There was a plethora of montages, no doubt owing to the lack of writers, and so we were treated to 80 years of the Oscar’s Greatest Hits. Was it to make up for a relatively uneventful event this year? No surprises or upsets, no political platforms or hysterical sobbing. Just happy people with happy little gold statues in happy California where the sun is happily shining and the air is happily warm…not that I’m jealous or anything. With our DVR we (thankfully) skipped through most the acceptance speeches. I really don’t know or care to hear about how your third-grade teacher inspired you to greatness. Make a movie about it and then we’ll talk.

And, after all of that, I was really left with only one thought: Daniel Day-Lewis is a beautiful, beautiful man.