i’m free but i’m focused, i’m green but i’m wise

The past few days have been unseasonably cool for late August, and despite the sense that summer was far too short this year, the blazing orange leaves tell us that autumn has arrived. No one’s really complaining, of course. You can’t live in New England and not love the fall. Trees with their splashes of wild color and cool, crisp air that begs you to breathe deep enough to feel it in your toes. It makes the transition from lush green summers to drizzly winters a little more bearable, a colorful stopover on the way to snow and ice.

As fall returns, so does schoolwork. I resume classes next week, and the kidlets will be starting a little later in the month. Mom and I sat down with them yesterday afternoon to discuss their school goals: what did they want to learn this year? what skills did they want to develop? With the exception of math, we’ve abandoned pre-packaged curriculums in favor of a more holistic approach to learning.

Stephen really wants to learn about World War I. To start things off, he’ll be reading about the events that led up to the war. Over the course of his study he’ll do a lot of internet research, visit the library’s reference section, read both fiction and non-fiction books, and together as a family we’ll watch and discuss WWI-related films. If possible, Stephen would like to acquire an old WWI era firearm and completely refurbish it. By studying one period of history, he will gain not only knowledge of history, but also literature, geography, and he will develop his skills as a gunsmith.

Hannah has a wider variety of interests, she just wants to do everything. She wants to learn how to sew. She wants to do yoga. She wants to learn Japanese (we’ll work on characters first) She’s chosen to study the history and culture of Scotland. Since we’re of Scottish descent, part of her learning will be tracing our family tree. In an interesting cross-over, one of our Scottish relatives died in World War I. Hannah will also be planning a garden during the fall and winter months, researching growing methods, figuring out plot size and the best place for sunlight, so when the time comes next spring she’ll be ready to plant. Did I mention her interests were varied?

The one thing that had Hannah concerned was math. She really disliked the approach of last year’s curriculum and she was absolutely dreading the subject this year. Then I showed her Math-U-See and her eyes lit up. “I can do that!” She’ll be learning about fractions, while Stephen will be learning about financial stewardship.

Later on at the dinner table Stephen said, “Hannah and I are really excited about school this year.” And that’s the best part.

Peanut update

I am one WORN OUT bunny momma. Peanut’s care alone requires a lot of time and energy, but there are a lot of other things going on that have me stretched in a million different directions. Classes start next week. How sad is it that I need a vacation from my summer vacation! Anyway…

We saw Dr. G this morning. He said basically what he told me before: Peanut isn’t improving, she’s adapting. And he’s right. Peanut is no better than she was two weeks ago. I’m not expecting her to be healed, I’m not even expecting significant improvement, but aside from her learning to lean on things (and therefore stay mostly upright) she’s the same as she was when she got sick almost four weeks ago.

She’s lost two pounds since the beginning of June, most of that being lost just these past few weeks! For the past two weeks she’s been eating Critical Care (with a little Ensure mixed in) three times a day, in addition to unlimited hay and whatever pellets she manages to eat (probably around a couple tablespoons a day). She’s drinking on her own, and her hydration is fine. I can’t get her to eat more than she already’s consuming, so why is she losing weight?!

He repeated what he said before about some bunnies handling this really well, and some not handling it so well, and that there may come a time when I have to make a decision about her quality of life. Like I haven’t been thinking about that every minute of every day for the past two months… He said that an x-ray or MRI will likely do little to help us prognostically.

I asked him about keeping her on antibiotics for longer than two weeks, in case the infection was still there. He said given that her initial infection cleared up (or appeared to) with a relatively common antibiotic, if this was another infection, putting her on one of the most powerful antibiotics available (Doxy) in combo with Orbax, should have produced some change, however small. If that were the case, he’d keep them on her longer. In this situation, he’s concerned that keeping her on Doxy any longer could really mess up her GI system, and he doesn’t think it’s helping.

He wants to see her in 30 days for a weight check. That’s all.

I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I’m stretched thin, both emotionally and financially. So when I recapped the visit with mom, I started to cry. It can’t keep going on like this. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel. The vet has offered *nothing* that would give me hope to see my rabbit better. I know, I know, even good vets can get it wrong. He’s one of the leading rabbit vets in the area. Other vets love him, patients love him, die-hard-knowledgeable rabbit people love him. So why can’t he help us??? Why isn’t he doing more?

*sigh*

the Lord blessed us today

And as usual, it’s beyond what we could ever ask.

One of Dad’s pastor friends is moving and he and his wife gave us enough “treasures” to fill the back of the van and the bed of the truck, stacked nearly five feet high. This friend is a true Rennaissance Man; been there, done that, brought back the t-shirt. Hannah has a gorgeous English saddle, saddle blanket, and saddle bag, plus a much larger electronic keyboard. She’s nearly giddy.

A lot of the stuff was for Dad and I couldn’t even begin to list everything. He now has several professional-quality tools for his shop, new shirts, sports coats, jackets, hats, a variety of hunting-related items, and the jazz guitar amp he’s been wanting since he was sixteen. God is so cool.

Stephen has a brand-new Ovation 12-string acoustic guitar, and two new guitar cases. He said he nearly cried when he saw it. He was also given an Ovation guitar neon light, an acoustic pick-up, a brand-new harmonica (which he now wants to learn), a new leather jacket…the list goes on.

We all have new winter coats, and there are a half-dozen garbage bags stuffed with clothes that we have yet to go through. These aren’t Wal-Mart clothes either, they shopped at GAP, Columbia, etc. How can you adequately thank someone for such overflowing generosity? We’re not poor by any means, but we’re not rich either: my dad is a retired pastor who’s trying to start a business, my mom works part-time and still cares for two kids and her aging dad, and all while putting their eldest daughter (moi) through college. It’s not easy, but we trust that God will provide, and when he does…He Does.