It’s that Hannah still talks about him. He was, and probably always will be, “her boy” and she misses him to this day. Obviously, we haven’t told her anything, because if it didn’t end up happening she would be crushed. But this morning, as I looked at the photos of PJ she has posted around her room, I couldn’t help but think about how happy she would be if he were home.

Then I think about his last day with us. His new owners were several hours late to pick him up, and I finally asked mom, “If they don’t come, can we keep him?” They came, he left. I nearly cried. But it was okay, I told myself, because this is how it was supposed to work out.

I see the cats lazing around the house, and think, it wouldn’t be so bad with another one.

And then I think – have you completely lost your marbles?! Five cats! Think of the food, and extra litterboxes, and even more fur on our curtains, not to mention the extra vet bills and the stress of adding a new member to the household. And how will dad react?

More than anything, I don’t want to ‘jinx’ myself by even entertaining the possibility of PJ’s return. Because if it falls through, I don’t want to feel let down.

*sigh*

Waiting is the hardest part…