of enzymes and Orthodoxy, self-control, holiday spirit, and retroviruses
Nov 30th, 2005 Posted in orthodoxy | Comments OffFirst off, I stink at being dairy-free. It’s enough to make a person want to quit, except for in my case, quitting would make me feel even worse. Logically, I know I need to give up dairy if I want to feel better, but I really don’t have the energy for it. Could be the weather, could be schoolwork, or it could be, what’s that word again? Oh…laziness.
And while we’re on the subject of laziness, I’ve realized that it’s been awhile since I posted about my journey to Orthodoxy. I guess that’s because I still have a hard time putting it all into words. Pretty incredible for someone so verbose, but the entire experience defies adequate explanation. I am immersing myself slowly, going to Liturgy every week, and to the Discovering Orthodoxy classes on Tuesday nights. I’ve read some, but not too much, focusing more on prayer and simple Scripture reading.
The mindset change is what’s so profound to me at the moment. I don’t think about the faith as I used to, or – as I’ve come to realize – most of my friends still do. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing, it’s just different. I’ve stopped going to my old (non-denom) church. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be, though I’m not sure if that means anything.
We’re in the Nativity Fast now, though “we” does not include “me”. If you have any questions about my self-control, recall my struggle with giving up dairy. I have decided that there is one area in my life that I definitely need to gain control over, and that is my love of conflict. Not so much outright fighting, but more heated debates, especially in the internet arena. I realize that I don’t like to argue, but at the same time, I love to argue. I hate what it does to my spirit, but I relish the challenge.
So I’ve stayed out of most debates as of late, and have gone so far as to avoid entirely certain sites, blogs, etc. that provoke this uncharitable side of myself. I don’t say this to pat myself on the back. I say this to keep myself accountable.
One thing that I refuse to let bother me is, as Bill O’Reilly has termed it, “The Battle for Christmas”. Honestly, it’s not something I’d really even think about, but it seems to be everywhere, from online communities to my own living room. If it’s a fight you feel called to be a part of, so be it. Just don’t expect me to care whether or not someone says “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holiday-of-Choice”. I’m just happy that at least one radio station will be playing holiday music 24/7, right up until the 26th (did I not say I was a mushball?)
And on a completely unrelated note, tomorrow is World AIDs Day. I’m already wearing my red ribbon. Today in Biology class, my professor gave us a detailed explanation of how retroviruses (specifically, HIV) work. It’s scary stuff, and listening to just how the disease infects and spreads throughout the human body made me feel ill. I just couldn’t get those faces from Mother Theresa’s mission out of my head, and I don’t think I’ve acknowledged how much that experience affected me until quite recently. Writing about it helped. But it’s hard not to feel grieved and powerless when faced with such a widespread pandemic.
Lord, be with us, for in times of distress we have no other help but You.
Lord, have mercy on us.

