for all who have loved and lost

September 30, 2005 l Leave a Comment

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives
even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle,
easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps
we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan.

- Irving Townsend

Napster’s gone.

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Around 8 o’clock, I took him out of his cage, and mom held him while I cleaned his bottom. I also noticed that his chest was wet with drool. His teeth appeared to be overgrown, but I didn’t want to take care of that right away, for fear of stressing him too much.

After he was clean, I sat down on the couch and laid him on my chest. He stayed there for over an hour, cuddled in warmly under my hand, and fast asleep.

At 9:30, he started to stir a little, and so mom and I took the opportunity to get a better look at his teeth. I had to weigh the potential stress it would cause him against the fact that he could very well starve to death if this was left untreated.

Turns out I didn’t have much of a choice to make.

He had another stroke, in my hands. It was very fast. As he was breathing his last, I held him, and stroked him, and told him it was okay. He could go. I leaned over, kissed him, and whispered into his ear, You’ve been a wonderful boy. You can leave now, it’s alright. And he was gone.

There’s nothing I would have done differently. No better way I could have imagined for him to spend his last night. And yet…it hurts so much.

Napster Update

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Well, he was still here when I got home from work. I was so worried I wouldn’t be coming home to a live hamster…

Doesn’t look like he’s eaten much, but I got some baby food to tempt him with, and also some Pedialyte to add to his water (he’s drinking, just not very much).

He seems okay. He likes being held and petted (I think he enjoys the warmth of our hands). He’s not too happy about being cleaned, but we’ve made sure to give him lots of TLC afterwards.

I know he could possibly hang on for some time, or he may not live out the weekend. I just want to make sure he’s comfortable for as long as he is with us.

sigh

September 29, 2005 l 3 Comments

I think Napster’s had a stroke. He’s been very wobbly and uncoordinated (listing, falling over, etc.) and when I hold him, his hind end is noticably weak.

I also think he peed and pooped on himself last night, because his little bottom was wet and had poo caked on it. I know it’s not Wet Tail, because there’s no diarrhea or any of the other symptoms.

I don’t know what to do about him, besides keep him clean and warm. I’m really hoping that when he does go, it’s fast. I just couldn’t bear it to drag on for too long…

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eta:

He’s really gone downhill. Took him out of his cage tonight, cleaned off his bum (again), trimmed some of the fur, and put Neosporin on the areas that were irritated by the urine. He was in obvious discomfort and sqeaked a few times.

I’ve set up a few nests around his cage so he’ll have a place to rest if he can’t make it back to his little Igloo. No sooner did I gently set him down than he started rearranging the toilet paper. It’s nice to know he still has some spunk in him…

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A lot of the reading I’ve been doing suggests that most hamster, even elderly ones, will recover from a stroke within a few weeks. So I guess there is a good chance he could return to normal. Or not, but I refuse to lose all hope just yet.

I’m going to pick up some baby food and Pedialyte tomorrow after work, just to make sure he’s eating and stays hydrated.

I love this little guy, I really do…